Thank F**k it's February

31 January 2017

When I say that I am so glad January is over - I really, really mean it. Like really. Because this January, ladies and gentlemen, I somehow managed to survive a full 31 days without eating a single piece of chocolate. Not a chocolate chip cookie, not a powdered hot chocolate, not even the single smartie that fell out of my drawer and rolled, teasingly, around my bedroom floor. I repeat - no chocolate whatsoever. And that's not even the impressive part, oooh no. I managed to do this...

a) without killing anyone
b) with my sanity vaguely (...) intact
c) without substituting chocolate with wine.

Okay so that last one was a lie. But c'mon, small mercies. Anyone that knows me will know that I eat chocolate every single day so - petty as it may seem to you - this is a pretty fecking big deal for me: the lady who once managed to eat an entire family sized bar of Cadbury's BEFORE 9AM. 


In addition to severe chocolate avoidance, this month I have spent: a lot of time eating breakfast in bed on Saturdays: a lot of time panicking that signing up to Tough Mudder 2017 when I can't do a single press up was a very bad idea, a little bit of time planning how to decorate my BRAND NEW BEDROOM (thanks bro for finally movin' on out) and finally, this month I have spent literally zero time whatosever wasting my infinite amount of fucks on people/ things/ situations that simply do not deserves my fucks. So here's to a fuckfree 2017. (If you don't own this book already, I seriously suggest you buy it. Your life might depend on it). 

I hope your January was the tits. What did you get up to!? 

Birthday in Berlin - part ii

21 January 2017

If this trip to Berlin had a tag line it would be this;
And I'm talking at 8am in the morning, at 11pm at night, after having dinner, before having breakfast, on the worst hangover of my life, inbetween eating other bratwursts...the list goes on (and on and on and on). If I had to make a guess at the sheer distance of sausage we managed to consume over the course of four days in Berlin, I'd have to pop the figure at approx 98km. No exageration. Yet, somehow I didn't manage to take one photo of the thing at any point of our holiday which I can only say is a sheer testament to my tunnel-visioned-bratwurst-eating devotion. So instead, you'll just have to look at some #architectureporn. Which I know is not as good as #bratwurstporn, I'M SORRY.

You know you're doing the holiday thing right when you find yourself in a foreign city in your pyjamas at 8pm, knackered from a long day of sightseeing (read: alchocol and food sampling), with a fat ass room service pizza, a bottle of prosecco and your fave little human. *peace out emoji*

Other Berlin-flavoured posts are here and here. Or if Budapest is more up your street right - try here, here or here

Berlin Christmas Markets feat. Gluhwein

07 January 2017

As much as I’ve tried to deny the cold hard facts…I’m finally ready to admit that there really is such a thing as too-much-mulled-wine. Even when you're on holiday in Berlin. A gluhwein hangover creeps up on you in a similar fashion to how I imagine the Berlin wall did all those years ago: you wake up with very limited movement capabilities and a sense of pretty serious impending doom. Whether or not the Berliner’s also had a banging headache, severe amnesia and the alcohol shakes is anybody’s guess.

Can I also add that in addition to the photographs in this blog post taken pre 10pm, there’s a cracking set of approx. 200 blurry, out of focus, some completely black/white photos that were taken between 10pm and 1am. A few selfies thrown in for good measure, too. I wish I could say my photographic abilities laughed in the face of alcohol consumption…but actually they shrivel and die like a disappointing wet fish.

I’m now fondly looking back on a very busy, very brilliant and very, very boozy festive period. My bank balance might not have been laughing...but I certainly was and that's the main thing. Hoping you all have an absolutely off the chain 2017, much love.